As I watch myself and others struggle in this life, my heart breaks for all the disappointment and heartache that we endure. I know it's rare for me to share spiritual experiences but now is a time in my life when I am reflecting on the importance of this earthly life and those I choose to take with me on my journey here. I have always tried to be a helping hand to those around me (bluntness and all) :) But I find myself looking back and realizing that I was doing those things because that is what I needed. Instead of seeing what the recipient was in need of. I have found recently that holding on to acquaintances, whom I thought of as friends has led me down some paths I wouldn't have chosen for myself if I could have seen the hindsight. So I have come to a point where I must make some decisions for myself, which in my mind I have not done often, although it may have looked that way at times. I must let go of the negative influences in my life, choose not to let them effect my choices and my spirituality, some are family and some friends. I know this sounds like a depressing reality, however this is very cleansing for me to write and share with those I love and respect. If you are reading this then have no worries you're not on the "bye-bye" list. ;)
I had the opportunity to attend a temple session at the Mount Timpanogis temple with my hubby last week, first session since before Jasie was born, I know I was naughty...bad me. The next day I was able to attend the Draper temple open house which was SO amazing! The spirit there was so strong that in the sealing room as I was trying to talk to Chelsie a little about my sealing to Jason I couldn't help the tears from flowing. It was so great to have her there and see her experience the temple for the first time. It was a glimpse of what will come in the future for my beautiful daughters. I have so much love in my heart for all of you, the gospel and of course my eternal family. Since the new year I have been studying the Book of Mormon. I have never read and understood the words so clear before, I am amazed what I can learn and how just adding personal scripture study to my life has changed my perspective on my family and there receptiveness to me. Learning of the creation from the temple and then learning it again in the scriptures has given me an "a-ha" moment this week. 2 Nephi 2:25 "Adam fell that man might be; and men are, that they might have joy." To me this always meant that I should have joy because that's what it meant, but I have discovered that we cannot have joy without the fall of Adam because there would be no knowledge of this joy if there were no misery. So we must pass through sorrow to know repentance, and we must have our hearts broken to find mercy, and we must suffer some misery to understand real joy. I have experienced all of these as have you all I'm sure, however he never said it would be easy just that it would be worth it. I can't wait to see you all in all your glory that you have earned, there we see each other as we really are.
Love to all!
